Hello to my large sum of readers (Ally)! That’s right. I have returned.
What brings me back, you ask? Did I feel a moment of pressing literary inspiration that probed me to rekindle this sacred space once more? Was there a hole in my heart that could only be filled by my daily blogging? Did Ally’s reopening of “Solving Myself” finally motivate me to get off my lazy arse? Well, maybe a bit, but sadly (and not surprisingly) I have returned to fulfill this semester’s catharsis on life’s number one struggle.
That’s right. Boys.
But first, it is only fair that I start where I left off. That is, August 16, 2016.
- A new semester. The fall semester of 2016 has been a good one for classes. Philosophy of Religion. The Birth of Europe. The Rise of Christianity. Music Theory. Collaborative Piano. 14 year-old me would faint in delight. I was also initially in this class called Reasoning from History, but ended up withdrawing because it was such a disaster (the professor assigned grades arbitrarily and vaguely, cancelled class often, and his lectures tended to be completely useless). I definitely felt a little anxious about withdrawing from a class, but my awesome advisor Prof. Hedstrom thought it was the right call and encouraged my decision. Now my friends who stuck around seem to regret that they didn’t do the same.
- Extracurricular things. The major addition to my EC life has been Jeff Soc (the Jefferson Literary and Debating Society). As a probationary member, I have spent nearly every Friday night this semester sitting in Jeff Hall, wearing Western business attire, and trying not to fall asleep during presentations. So far I have failed my own probationary presentation twice (don’t get me started – this is a long story), and have met all kinds of people from Darden to the School of Law to the majestic Ivory Tower (sometimes also known as “Balz-Dobie”). I’m also serving on the Secretariat for this year’s VICS as the USG of Logistics, and am chairing a simulation of the Indian Parliament 2012-2014 for this year’s VAMUN. I’ve also joined the Roosevelt Society, which is basically a group of people who sit around and talk about politics. I’m sadly not taking any private piano lessons this semester, but am still doing collaborative piano work. I think next semester I’d like to give a second shot at trying out for the University Guides Service, as well as maybe something fun like Shakespeare on the Lawn. I also have an idea for starting my own organization on Grounds (more on this later).
- House! I’ve been living on Rugby Rd this year with Priya, Caroline, and Jannie. We have a cat named Finn. My room gets no sunlight because our apartment is literally a dungeon, but I’ve actually gotten quite comfortable here. Next year I’ll be living with Megan, Ankita, and Alexa in a much nicer apartment on JPA. That being said, I’m going to miss this place.
- Other random things. Anjali and Akshay are getting married in a couple weeks, so my mom is going to India for 7 days in order to attend the festivities. Dadi is at home until late November. I’ve applied to two State Department internships for next summer with the Bureau of European Affairs. I’ve become a pro at cooking Costco ravioli. I go to Barracks fairly often now. And Roots. I’ve started watching Gossip Girl (I know, I hate myself too). I went to Jeff Soc’s Wilson Day (a black tie dinner in the Rotunda) and the subsequent “Night of a Thousand Toasts” this month with Connor. I finally went to TOTL. I streaked the lawn for a second glorious time with Olivia. And I went to Carter’s Mountain today for the first time!
- And finally…men. I came back to UVA this fall missing George (Oxford boy), but naturally with time (and lots of distance) that faded away. Eventually I met Connor, a second-year law student, (in person…) at Michael’s in early September.
- There were a variety of instances where the differences between us became apparent – he’s in law school getting ready to enter the real world, I’m still a 2nd-year undergraduate student getting ready to be in school forever. He’s over four years older than me. He’s a criminal justice and legal nerd; I’m passionate about music, philosophy, literature, the arts, etc., and have no interest in law. Most importantly, I like having very deep, argumentative, and challenging conversations, whereas he is more comfortable in casual conversation and in small talk.
- A week ago, he *texted* me (yes, really) that we should “just be friends,” and I won’t lie – it stung. Largely because, by doing it over a simple text message, it felt so cold, impersonal, and uncaring. And cowardly. Regardless, I accepted his decision and agreed to just be friends (that’s what I had wanted initially, hello….), and after a few days of being sad I started to drift back to normal. Connor and I exchanged a little bit of platonic conversation. I began to realize that I missed having someone more than I missed Connor himself, although it was certainly a very real loss.
- So what am I thinking now?
- I’m partly relieved – this hasn’t broken me to NEARLY the extent that the Mr. Prosperous situation last semester did, thank GOD. Connor left me feeling sad for a couple of days, the fiasco last semester left me shattered and heartbroken for two months.
- I’m also a bit depressed at the discovery that some people can separate the physical and emotional so easily. I thought last night that because Connor was being so physically affectionate that there must also be some emotional tie, but it seems like that was not the case. It does make me quite sad. The only reason I was being so affectionate towards him was because I actually liked him.
So yeah. Welcome back to Shreya takes UVA.