March 26, 2016

  • Woke up to Ally entering the room. She told me about her night. Wink wink Ally, I know you’re reading this.
  • Went to the AFC for the first time ever. Felt pretty good.
  • Headed to OHill for some breakfast. Sat with Rebecca, Brianna, and Brianna’s friend.
  • Came home, showered, met Rebecca in the Clark Hall library where I read the libretto for Verdi’s Aida and watched most of the first two acts.
  • Headed to Littlejohn’s for a sandwich. Dropped by Mincers and Starbucks for a bit.
  • I had been feeling kind of down all day. It’s enough to say that boys are the worst and that feelings suck. I came home and took a nap.
  • When I woke up I went to Noor’s place to eat some of her butter chicken from Himalayan Fusion. Spent the rest of the night there. Worked on my study abroad application essay. Akash joined us for a bit and we had a pretty good time. He agreed to be my wingman, and gave me some advice. Good advice? Bad advice? Who knows.
  • I’m trying to sort out how I should go about things at this point. Part of me feels like I need to have a blanket approach to dealing with him (I should give him a nickname or something) and the way I’m feeling. I see a few options:
    1. Commit to give up on him completely. It’s only hard because you keep seeing him. Keep a distance for a while. Don’t go to IRO this week. Don’t hang out with that group of people. Focus on other things during VICS. Remember, he told you he doesn’t have feelings for you.
    2. Now that I’m thinking about it…I don’t really know what else I can do. Continue playing this game of trying to make him into me? Pointlessly hoping? Akash told me I’m a hustler and that I should hang in there, but I’m not really sure. I know how sensitive I am.
    3. Part of me wants to go up to him and be like, yo. [Insert entire full name here], I’m waiting for you to ask me out.
    4. Another part of me wants to go up to him and be like, yo. I’m glad we sorted things out, and if you want to makeout come find me.
    5. So many things. Such complicated. Much confusion. Feelings. Gah.
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